You know the type of person who, at the beginning of the year, mentally types out a list of new year goals while simultaneously thinking to herself, “I’m never gonna be able to stick to this”? I’m her.
And then never bothers to actually physically write them out, even though she knows full well that writing out any goal, objective, mission or even to do list has a better chance of being fulfilled than ones that aren’t? Me again.
And by the end of the first 2 weeks of January, or if she’s really motivated, by the end of the month, have forgotten all her newly minted goals….yep, that’s moi!And this has gone on for the past decade or so on an annual repeat cycle with no end in sight.
But this year, I have decided to change it up. And this time, I am determined to make it stick.
Why the sudden change you might wonder.
Well, last year was a year of great transition for me. I went from being a part of a family of 5 to a single mom of 3 and the responsibility of having 3 young kids so dependent on me has been an eye-opening kick in the bum.
Last year was my year to grieve, feel sorry for myself, experience things outside my comfort zone and go a little wild.
This year, I am back to reality, in a different space – the single mom space, as opposed to the wife and mom space. And it’s time I got off my butt and started thinking and planning for the future. It’s scary yet exciting, terrifying yet exhilarating.
Another thing that’s different? I am a business owner, an entrepreneur, a boss-mom. I love the way that sounds! I am an innovator….isn’t that cool?!
Yes, I have a long way to go before my business can float itself and I have tons of work to do to get my name out there. Well, this is the year I will do it.
So armed with all this new-found motivation and positive energy, I decided to change up my new year goals.
So how do you go about defining some well-intentioned goals and make sure they don’t expire in a week like my sleek sexy hair-do did 😒
1. Change your wording
I`m not sure if you would agree with me but the word `goals`is quite boring and uninspiring. It`s so uninspiring that when I hear it, I immediately imagine them being broken.
So this year, I have renamed my goals...they are now my dreams for 2019 and beyond.
And to me, calling them dreams makes them a part of me, something for me to work towards, inspire me and challenge me.
For my dreams, I am willing to work hard, give it my all and to keep getting up no matter how many times I fall.
For my goals, I am not.
2. Write those suckers down!
First in your journal.
Then every other surface imaginable. I have my dreams displayed on my vision board (will write an article about what a vision board is real soon), written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror, as the screensaver of my phone, on post-it notes stuck to my laptop, fridge, wardrobe and dresser drawer.
Why? Because the more you see them, the more you visualize them, dream them, live them and make them reality.
My biggest problem with to-do lists has never been making them. I’m very good at making lists. My issue lies in looking at them again. I used to just write them in whatever pretty journal I had decided to treat myself to and then, they would be forgotten, forever lost in the abyss of Mayoni’s useless journal.
Not anymore! I am forced to see my dreams. I see them when I brush my teeth in the morning and every time I open the fridge and every time I reply to a text, they’re there.
2. Visualize them
Research has shown over and over again, that what we visualize in my mind and really believe to be true, is actually what comes to be. We are the creators and we manifest it by believing it. Think about this…every man (or woman) made thing or event in this world first started out as an idea in someone’s mind. Isn’t that crazy?! They visualized it and imagined it, before it even existed, and only then did they take the necessary physical steps to make it happen.
So visualize your dreams, imagine them being true, not coming true but actually being true, in this moment right now. Live like they’ve already come true. Be grateful and thankful for it.
3. Let them go
When I first started meditating, I had a hard time just being in the moment and observing. I’d try hard to achieve mindfulness and push myself to be present. But the more I tried, the harder it was. It’s only after I let go and just let my mind wander instead of trying to wrestle it to stay in the ‘now’ that it actually settled and it became so much easier to achieve that elusive mindfulness.
That’s not to say don’t work towards your dreams and don’t focus on them. But don’t fixate on them so much so, that not achieving them would severely impact your life.
Visualize them frequently but at the same time let them go, give them over to a higher power (I like to think of this higher power as the universe) and have faith that they will come true.
4. Have a higher purpose
If there is one common thing that I have noticed about the most successful entrepreneurs is that money was not their primary or only goal. They truly believed in their product or service and the ability of that product or service to change things for the better.
I believe that having dreams that have a bigger purpose than just ourselves are the ones that end up being the most satisfying and fulfilling.
In my case, I truly believe in my product. I believe that our children are being exposed to negative messages related to gender and I wanted to change that. They’re being exposed to harmful chemicals which could have serious long-term health effects and I wanted to change that too. I believe in my product. Off course, when I get great feedback from others, that helps to re-inforce my belief, but I did start out knowing that my company had a higher purpose than just making money….off course, the extra moolah makes it all sweeter!
5. Make yourself accountable to them
This one is a particularly tough one for me because I am the eternal procrastinator and have been known, more than once, to procrastinate so long on something that in the end I just forget about it and never get it done.
Which is why, writing this blog post is in a way, holding myself accountable. Because I’m putting it out there, sending it to the never-dormant online world where it will remain forever.
So if you’re like me and can’t be trusted to follow-through on wiping your backside (only kidding, maybe!), then use someone else to hold you accountable. Tell your best friend, boy (or girl) friend, husband or blow-up doll to give you regular reminders, pokes and prods to make sure that you stay on your game…ok maybe not your blow-up doll but the others are good!
6. Focus, focus, focus
Think about your dreams first thing in the morning and last thing at night. It`s what you want more than anything in the world so be committed to them, focus on them and make them your world.
What are some of your dreams for 2019?
Post them in a comment and let’s start a conversation.